Hi... I'm Nick. Ready to take over the world with my style vision! Is you sick of looking like this?
Or, God forbid, this?
Never fear, Dr Nick is here aaight! With my help, you'll soon be looking the way God intended:
Extreme Nickover: Coming to a TV Screen near you!!!
Applications available at all Vidal Sassoon salons.
Here's what you can expect if you make it onto the show!
Phase 1: Hair
Phase 2: Fashion
Emphasis on cap placement. Tips on getting the most x-treme nipple exposure from your muscle shirts. Finding your true waistline
(most people don't know it's actually not far from the armpits). Special episode coming up: getting the most out of mesh!!!
Phase 3: Hot poses
See my picture above
Phase 4: Further refining of cap placement
Learn how to further enhance this look with the addition of a singular pirate-style earring.
Phase 5: The body
Rethinking steroids and other unfairly maligned physique enhancers.
All Extreme Nickover contestants get a free wardrobe from Nick's own personal favourite shopping destinations:
International Male - only the best in nipple-displaying muscle tank tops
Boy London - What do we need to say? The wind beneath Extreme Nickover's wings.
JD Sports - Iz btchn, bruvaz